Newsletter and jokes 16 November 2018

Hi all 
This past week-end saw Armistice day, and in memory of that terrible war, 
we have a stunning documentary by none other than Peter Jackson, featuring 
restored footage like you've never seen before. Pity it has a 16 age 
restriction, I'm very much a believer that those who do not know history 
are doomed to repeat it, and some of the hot headed politicians would do 
well to get up to speed on how nasty war is. As will the children, our  
future leaders. 
The big release this week is of course chapter two in the Fantastic Beasts 
saga, showing in all four formats for your viewing pleasure. 
Now since urban American films are doing so well locally, we move things 
up a notch (from the likes of Night School) with a well-rated crime drama, 
featuring strong female leads, in Widows. Director Steve McQueen is hoping  
for more Oscar glory with this one. 
And speaking of Oscars, maverick writer/director Andrew Niccol is back with 
another warning about technology and government in Anon, which  
unfortunately didn't quite resonate with the critics. 
Lastly Kollywood rolls out a female-friendly comedy in Kaatrin Mozhi. 
No previews this week, good luck with the exams... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 16 November 2018 
* Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (13 VH) 
* Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (3D) (13 VH) 
* Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (3D IMAX) (13 VH) 
* Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (4DX) (13 VH) 
* Widows (18 LVNSP) 
* Anon (16 LVNSD) 
* They Shall Not Grow Old (16 VD) 
* Kaatrin Mozhi (Tamil)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
First date.... at a restaurant... 
DATE: What do you do? 
ME: [Holds up menu] You just choose a meal from this book of food. 
Doctors waiting rooms... 
Two co-workers were talking about having to wait a long time to see their 
doctors. One of them said, “My doctor’s office encourages me to bring a 
book to read while I wait.” 
“That’s nothing,” the other replied. “My doctor’s office encourages me to 
write a book while I wait.” 
Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went through your 
phone and found the hundreds of pictures you have of them sleeping? 
I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is “down for the count.”  
I don’t care that he loves Dracula.  
I just want to know who’s winning. 
Every time someone says, “I’m aware,” I wait a couple seconds in case they  
add “wolf.” 
If you need something to pass time on a plane, over the course of the 
flight, slowly and silently apply an entire face of clown makeup. 
My girlfriend wanted to watch The Hunger Games and I didn’t so we  
compromised, and now we’re gonna watch The Hunger Games. 
My sister was about to have a baby and my brother showed up to the hospital  
wearing a suit because “first impressions matter.” 
I just want to be as tired at bedtime as I am all day at work. 
When my grandson was four years old, he was a fussy eater. At a family  
dinner, his aunt asked him if he would like an olive and he declined.  
“Have you ever tasted an olive?” she asked. 
“No,” he replied. “I don’t try stuff I don’t like.” 
Prepare your spouse for parent-hood by waking them up at 3 a.m. to tell  
them it’s not raining and then demand some cheese. 
A friend of mine asked my grandson how old he was. 
He answered, “I am four years old.” 
“When are you going to be five?”  
After a long pause, the boy answered, “After four.” 
A six-yearl-old checks out another Star Wars book from the school library. 
ME: Why do you always get Star Wars books? 
SIX-YEAR-OLD: I only read the classics. 

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