Newsletter and jokes 18 October 2019

Hi all 
It's exam season again as the weather warms and protests slowly build  
globally. Curious times we live in. 
It's pretty much a week for females, with most of the new releases focused 
on their stories. Kicking off as usual with the lower age band, Disney is 
rolling out the sequel to Maleficent globally today, and they're expecting 
it to dethrone Joker in the US at least. On the flip side, they're not  
expecting any major fireworks, and reviews have not been too good either. 
So we'll have to see how it goes here. It's showing in all the formats. 
Then the famous South African historical tale of Racheltjie de Beer finally 
makes it to the big screen... it's one of those stories which I wondered 
why it had never been made into a film before. Guess they needed someone  
to novelise it first. 
For older audiences, we have two titles, both on limited release. First up 
is Light of My Life, on at the Nouveas-and-similar, and finally a Spanish 
film Ma Ma which is on at the Nouveaus only. 
Bollywood has one offering this week, an historical action drama starring 
Saif Ali Khan. 
The one-offs include the 1 Minutes Film Festival tonight at the V+A 
Nouveau, and Measure for Measure at Killarney Mall on Sunday.  
In other news, animated film Abominable (currently on circuit) is making 
the wrong sort of waves in the far East, because of a line on a map shown 
briefly... the line shows territory claimed by China in the South China  
Sea, but the neighbouring nations have their own ideas of where the border  
should be. Leading to bannings and cuts and much arm waving.... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Released 18 October 2019 
* Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (3D) (PG7-9 VP) 
* Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (PG7-9 VP) 
* Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (3D IMAX) (PG7-9 VP) 
* Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (4DX) (PG7-9 VP) 
* Die Verhaal van Racheltjie de Beer (PG10-12 LVH) 
* Light of My Life (13 V) 
* Ma ma (13 LSN) 
* Laal Kaptaan (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Now that I’m a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot. 
My cousin always “borrows” money from her older brother’s piggy bank, which 
drives him crazy.  
One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the freezer.  
Inside was this note:  
“Dear sister, I hope you’ll understand, but my capital has been frozen.” 
My daughter loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for  
Mother’s Day.  
She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with it.  
Landon became upset:  
“Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture  
of a cat?” 
When my ex-Marine father-in-law was at my house, our six-year-old neighbor  
came by to play with my kids. 
I asked her if she knew who he was.  
She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and said,  
“I don’t remember what his name is, but I know he used to be a submarine.” 
My cousin, a teacher, asked her young students,  
“Why should you never accept candy from strangers?” 
One girl knew. “Because it might be past the sell-by date.” 
A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying.  
“What’s the matter, honey?” she asks him. 
“It’s my father,” the boy says, sobbing. “He hit his finger with a hammer.” 
“Then why are you crying?” she says.  
“Because first I laughed!” he answers. 
Our friends Dave and Kristen have a precocious three-year-old.  
One day, Kristen chided Alayna for calling her by her first name. 
“Stop calling me Kristen,” she said. “I want you to call me Mommy, not  
Alayna looked confused. “But Dave calls you Kristen.” 
When my neighbour’s granddaughter introduced me to her young son, Brian, I  
said to him,  
“My grandchildren call me Mimi. Why don’t you call me that too?” 
“I don’t think so,” he retorted, and ran off after his mother. 
Later I was asked to babysit for Brian, and we hit it off wonderfully.  
As he snuggled up to me, he said,  
“I don’t care what your grandchildren say. I love you, Meanie.” 
Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand and hand these days.  
I wasn’t surprised when one of my daughter’s friends showed me a delicate  
little Japanese symbol on her hip.  
“Please don’t tell my parents,” she begged. 
“I won’t,” I promised. “By the way, what does that stand for?” 
“Honesty,” she said. 

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